#LikeAGirl

'You fight like a girl!" "Awh come on, stop crying like a girl!" "You run like a girl!" "You punch like a girl!"

These are just your average based 'insults' that men in particular love to throw around in mockery to question someone of their 'manliness'. 

Just yesterday in class one of the boys was crying for some reason and our teacher who by the way is a man, being oh so original and charming could only think of one way of shutting the poor chap by saying, "I won't be calling your parents for disturbing by class this way" and I quote "tu ladki hai kya?" (Are you a girl) "tu ladki jaise rota hai, tu ladkiyo jesai harkat karta hai" (You were crying like a girl and you behave as one)  

Isn't it funny? We go worshipping girls in India, and recently campaigning for the liberation of the woman in the society, and yet we have people, educated from the highest and most prestigious institutions like IIT talking like this. 

In the field I'm currently pursuing, engineering- girls are in minority for reasons unknown. But does that give men the right to insult the term 'girl?'

When did 'like a girl' become an insult? What is wrong with hitting 'like a girl?' Or crying 'like a girl?' Or even running 'like a girl?' What wrong in being compared to a girl?

 WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A GIRL?

What I can't seem to fathom is the thought that women and girls all round are okay with the fact that 'like a girl' is an insult and maybe even use it themselves. This breaks my heart. I've always counteracted if someone uses this term in a condescending sense. As a kid I used to give them my version of 'death ray vision' and throw a fit till they took back their words. As a teen- I would give them a moral lecture with a underlined death wish if they ever uttered that line again. 

Why don't people get it? As if being girl isn't hard enough, making cheap tags lines and mocking the way we are isn't helping the situation. They say real men respect women in every way. I'm not saying all the boys around me are rapists and molesters. But these sheer sexist comments are the root bases of the inferiority complex between men and woman. 

Like William Goulding once said, "I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been." Such a wise man. 

So to all the girls and women around the world, here's my advice. "Punch like a girl, cry like a girl, scream like a girl, walk like a girl, talk like a girl, throw a ball like a girl, sing like a girl or even bloody breather like a girl. Cause it working. Damn straight it's working. As long as we do our job or excel in our various fields, nobody's gonna ask you if you 'did it like a girl.' If they did, just tell them 'Its cause I'm a girl, and you're just sorry you can't be us." A sass a day keeps the basics away. ✌️ 

Here's to us girls, keep it simple. Keep it real and being "like a girl." 

PS- Watch this amazing ad here, the links given below. Here's to an amazing campaign that promoting us women, please support them anyway you can. Spread the love ❤️

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Summer bummer love

As the crystal periwinkle coloured water kissed the silvery white shores of the islands, I felt the sand beneath my feet trying to escape as I curled my toes trying to clutch them, failing miserably as the stubborn waters washed the velvety sand between my toenails. almost as if it was trying to pull me into the big blue canvas; forcing me to forget my worries and just literally go with the flow. Oh how I wish I did.

Walking along the scenic Island coastline was like a beautiful and surreal experience. With the sun beating down my back; the smell of salt in the air as a gentle cool breeze helped me keep the humidity at bay. The silvered sand glistening as if some pirates had hidden their secret stash of treasure underneath the sand, stunning the onlookers with their shine, prodding them to break into a treasure hunt. 

While the vast blue ocean tried to swallow the shoreline, I walked with my bare feet digging into the sand creating footprints while the cheeky waves erased my very evidence of ever being there. 'Walk barefooted in sand once in a while and you'd never have to pay money for a pedicure.' Reminiscing these lines said by my grandmother, I looked into the angry sky, as the sun tried to run away from the clouds that were trying to overshadow the blue ocean in the horizon. 

The beach was full of these tiny sea crabs. With each step I took, every sea crab within a 10m distance hid away into their shell. Obviously not liking the intruder treading their lands with her gigantic feet. It was like a chain reaction, as I walked every living thing around me locked themselves away; hiding from the scrutiny of human eyes. There is that line between nature and us. If these crabs were humans- they'd probably shine their outer shells and strut their stuff, showing off their islands to the intruder. While these tiny creature want to be left to their solitude, not interested to show the world what they've got. Now that's a hidden valuable lesson neither school, society nor anyone for that matter can teach us. 

Out of the corner of my mind I saw a movement on one of the dried up corals. On inspecting a little closer I saw a tiny kitten purring softly as it tried in it's cat monologue to build up it's courage to jump over the small stretch of water and landing safely onto the inviting silver arid sand. Stranding without anyone to help- the kitten purred pitifully. Boy don't we all know this feeling?  Carefully I tried to coax the tiny thing into letting me pick her up so that I could land her feet on the sand. It took half a packet of crushed Oreos and a good old 10 minutes of "good kitty, nice kitty." 

Mission accomplished. 

The kitten purred and wrapped herself around my foot almost as if giving me her gratitude. Oh how my heart was set on this creature. I played with the animal till it the sun kissed the ocean; marking my departure. 

After a million kisses, a full packed of crushed Oreos  and a prolonged goodbye I set foot back home wishing the animal a good life. The kitten followed me half the way till it's tiny paws probably worn out and it's tiny figure disappearing into the now dimly lit up sky. 

I wonder if that's what summers about. Finding tranquility in the wilderness of the earth, learning to appreciate Mother Earth, just finding the almost extinct solitude from the hassle of city life. I hope the kitten remembers me, if I ever someday stumble into her again, though I know there's a bleak chance of that ever happening. 

Forgotten summer love, sun kissed skin, blue skies, a new sense of confinement and a brief agreement between the mind and your heart, almost lulling you to never go back. 

Now that's what summers all about. 

#SummerTwentyFourteen 

Religion Prejudice

Today I'll be writing on one of the most controversial but hushed topic in our society. Religion.

• : an organized system of beliefs,ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods.

Hindu, Muslim, Christianity, Sikhs, Jews and so on are all the different religions all around the world. We may praise the almighty god with all the pre-historic rituals and all that jazz, but does anyone have the authority to question their customs? Like a woman can never be a Rabbi or a priest in a baptized church. Muslims women are to be behind a veil or 'burka' when in public, some middle eastern counties don't allow women to drive cars. They don't even allow their woman to pray in mosques. We as Hindus frown upon the household where a women is the bread maker in the house or remarriage of a widow, the dowry system, marrying  an innocent 13 year old off to some 30 or sometimes even a 60 year old man. When I open the newspaper, all I see is this heart breaking stories of child marriage, suicide  attempts of women due to not being able to pay dowry, or due to the constant henpecking from the in-laws. 

But all in all- we see, we might feel sad but move on as this is all under 'religious customs.' Not allowing girls near worship places when their on their monthly cycle- I have friends who are not allowed to go out of the house during those 5-6 days. I'm sorry, but is no one aware that this happens to every female and its not something we asked for? Our god made us this way. We think of child birth as something pure and magical but when it comes to the periods that illusion is demystifies? And then we sit and wonder as to how this inequality between a man and woman has started. It's always the girls fault. Whether it's blamed on Eve for biting the sinful apple or on us girls wearing short clothes is a mating call for males to rape. It's always us. 

Some religions are of the belief that homosexuality is an unnatural disease and we must immediately shun out such people who are 'ill'. Or in some tribal beliefs when children start teething, they believe that the child is possessed  by the devil and go to these con artists who sit under the title of 'gurus' with their yellow forehead and saffron clothes, with their multiple necklaces just waiting to pounce  on poor villagers for a living. If a girl is not mentally stable they send her off to some remote temples where she's made to pretend to be some devil possessed sorcerer and people sit around her chanting spells to ward off her 'evil spirit'. You're probably thinking- Are you kidding me? I wish I were, but it's the bitter truth. Have you seen any female pundits? Or god being addressed as 'her'. Though we have many female deities, they're always put in a smaller temple or less grander than their supposing 'husbands' . That's why maybe I like Durga Mata so much. Call it a feminists guilty pleasure. But she's the only goodness know for being a superwoman, for not depending on any man.  

Whether it's Hitlers genocides or discrimination of females in worship place as long as the discrimination is under the title of 'religious believes' we all just drop the idea of voices our thought or fighting for our right and start chanting gods name in fear of being cursed by him. The hypocrisy of the government and the juvenile customs of our many religious beliefs have suppressed us woman form any kind of power. Not to mention our religious believes of not talking open about 'sex education'. In India we student do not receive sex education talks, but in turn are supposed to pride the fact that we worship many goddess and pray to them to bless us.  I mean the whole country dedicates temples and 'Ashtami' days for national holiday to worship our girls who are our 'devi' or goddesses. While any other day it's okay to rape a girl between the ages of 9 months old to a 90 year old or molest a baby girl in open day light? Studies have shown that sex education is one of the ways to drastically reduce rape cases. The evident carelessness and egoistic male chauvinism in this country is appalling but if it's under the tag line of religion- we just let go and take whatever is in our way.  

I'm not an atheist. I believe in god, I pray, I visit temples, churches, gurudwaras etc.  But I like to believe that god, this enchanting mystical form we pray and devote our faith hasn't brought me into this world to see that women are inferior to men, or girls can be discriminated whether openly or in religion, and we are just supposed to be okay with it. No, he has brought me to see that equality is my birthright and nobody gets to put me down- not religion, not any government or cult. Not even he himself. 

Discrimination is showing prejudice in any form- political, social or even religious. Why can't we tax this biased system which is hiding under the protection of god? Which thinks it can get always with it cause we fear god? Try being god loving, not god fearing people. Then maybe we will someday get to see an equality which we can only dream of right now. Think about it. 

PS- I meant to hurt no religion, customs, cult or any beliefs. It's not a hate blog, nor an atheist one. It's only my beliefs cause everyone is entitled to them, and this👆 is mine. Sorry not sorry if it hurts any sentiments or feeling, it's not intentional and all of this is purely frictional and for amateur blogging. 

Till next time my readers. 🙏

   

17 years, 17 little observations.

Here's to my 17 years of my life in 17 personal life pointers.

1. Don't grow up, it's a trap. We all just wait to grow up just to experience more conflicts nobody prepared us for. 

2. Nobody wants sympathy. We all just want empathy. 

3. Little things in life do matter. 

4. All the bad things is life are prettier, more attractive, more alluring and definitely more cheaper than the good things is life. That's what makes it so hard. 

5. Everyone just wants money, nobody actually wants a job. 

6. School days are the best days in ones life. 

7. People come and go, but family stays, irrelevant of whether you might like it or not. 

8. When people are irritated , they make it a point to pass on their irritation to everyone around. Maybe that's why anti-socials are in a way smart to stay away from people. 

9. When life hands you lemons- you spend the rest of your life wondering what to do with it. Make lemonade or just  keep it as a showpiece till it rots. The choice is yours. 

10. The 80's kids might have had a hard life with no actually luxury of technology or urbanisation, but they definitely had a better life than this generations. Without technology or communication, you really don't give a damn about what your next door neighbour is doing. And that's something I'd kill for. 

11. Money doesn't buy happiness but I rather be crying and drinking my sorrows in a mansion than a hut. Just saying. 

12. Boys or men definitely gossip just as much as us women. If not more.

13. Reality checks are the worst kind of checks in life. 

14. The older you grow; you're given your lawful rights to liberation. But somehow, you feel even more caged.  

15. Men's mightiest downfall in life is their ego, and women's their incapability to mind their own business. 

16. The worlds a  big masked ball, everyone is wearing a pretty mask to hide their inner demons. 

17. Expectations mostly lead to disappointments. Best advice- just wing it- unexpected things in life are the most memorable memories. 

....... (To be continued) 

PS- Happy Holi to all you beautiful people out there ❤️

Should we be proud?

India- a country with diverse topography and unmatched natural beauty from the tall snow pecked peak of Himalayas to the multicoloured grains of sand of Kanyakumari- we are blessed with it all.

So should be proud of our our country? So proud that we yell it from the mountain tops? Proud of our nationality, as Indians we should be ecstatic with the way our country runs, patting our government on their backs? 

Yet, we youngsters- the moment someone takes the name of the Indian government; we snicker and roll our eyes with the look that says it all? This-country-has-no-hope. Yes, the government is corrupted, I mean it's politics. If it's ain't dirty- it ain't politics. But yet, I am ashamed of the way things are running in the this country. From our own capital so lovingly nicknamed- 'the rape capital'. I mean just imagine, your country's own capital; shine and pride is the most unsafe place for girls, and for I am one doesn't really create a good image for my future safety. From the sexual assaults to the thousands of pending molesting and rape casing on the our every own chosen delegates, this country has seen it all. To top it off; the outstanding behaviour of our Raj Sabha regarding the long awaited Telangana and Andhra issue. Ripping papers, tearing documents and flipping it in the air in anger like some Bollywood movie, stripping down to their boxer holding slogans for their beliefs, snatching and hitting each other and blatantly disrupting the sitting of the house in front of our Prime Minister and the other respectable members of the house. Isn't that just lovely? I mean our kids are sure to get some anger management issues classes from our prime and shine? 

Not to mention even our own very NRI's sitting in other countries, look down upon their own homeland- singing praises of the respective countries they now reside in? I was watching the debate hour with Arnav Goswami during the Devyani humiliation case, when I was flabbergasted to hear the views of our very own flesh and blood deriding their homeland and judging us to over-reacting over a small matter? The nerve of such people! Are they aware of the national uproar of their fellow people? The humiliation we had to go through? Sitting in their "high chairs" judging us with like we're always the one to blame, Indians the fools? 

Not like our Indians are any less! Demanding states, fighting against each other like little children? Our very own Indo  Pakistan war with the naxalites. Don't even get me started on the elections. It's the blind leading the blind. The illiterate people's innocence is taken advantage off by our forever greedy and foolish politicians. 

All you hear in your house is our elders just blaming the government, shaking their heads in disappointed muttering that "Nothing can be done with this country." Yet, refusing to vote to some decent chaps to make this country's democracy just a little less hopeless, talk about double standards. 

When I see the mass gathering during Nirbhaya's case, the opening of the T-2, the general Lokpal Bill, our master blaster- Sachin Tendulkar, Ghandhiji, Mother Teresa, Jhamsedji Tata; our India is a homeland of all these great people which gives me the tiny hope that's left in my heart  and I cling to it with both arms that maybe, just maybe my generation can knock some sense into the administration of this country and show the world why India's the largest democracy in the world! Show them what we got. Cause if we ain't got hope; we ain't got nothing left to fight for. So my advise? Instead of warming the chair, go vote! Baby steps, right? It's a start. :) 

Passion over mind?

Passion. The most candid of human desires, the most over hyped of emotions according to me. Passion is what drives people out of their comfort zones- daring themselves to try and and get out their this zone. I've always been told do what you're passionate about, follow your dreams. But why is almost is it so hard to follow your passion? To follow what you want. After all 'the heart wants what it wants.' As teenagers- we are never out of options for careers options, but what we want? It's a totally different matter. Suppose you have always wanted to be one of those food critics you see on those TLC channels or those world travelers, I mean getting paid to eat and travel the world? What more could anybody ever want? But is it a safe option? I mean what would your mom or Dadi say if that next door Mrs Mehta asked them what their precious grandson or daughter is doing? Imagine the horror! No degree, no doctoral or engineering certificate adorning the house walls. Or dreaming of being an Acapella singer or a ventriloquist? Or starting a band and strumming it around with your homeboys. Even asking your parents or subtly suggesting these options as an occupations can lead to a dreaded silence hangs in the house for almost a month, the tensions always palpable, to last a lifetime.

There are always people who have attained success in their lives because of their passions, but as teens- you can't help but feel as if these are one is gazillion cases where destiny and luck matters. And god forbid you base your arguments of such examples in your never ending debates of self conflict. You're bound to feel like just screaming on top of your lungs till the words dry out.'Why is being a teenager so hard?"We're too young to do half the things in our life's but old enough to make decisions which we have to stick to for the rest of our life.

The moment us teens even utter the words- life is so stressful. The sardonic laughs of the adults will resonate in your ears. "You? Seriously what pressure do you guys even have apart from studying?" Ah well, what I would like to say to such adults is- maybe in your times- you people had a less luxurious life and I know you've all worked hard to get where you are, but that doesn't mean  us teenagers or "kids" don't know what pressure is. Times have change drastically. Try being a teenager trying to find your limelight against the billions of other kids, who are just as clever and talented or maybe more than you can ever be. With the completion rising higher the the Burj Khalifa , keeping your head above  water gets harder every goddamn passing moment and with the added task of not succumbing to drugs or other things and in some unfortunate cases of being bullied, if that's not hard or too pressuring at our tender age, I don't know what is! 

Going behind passion is like choosing between Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio, both extremely tempting to chose but at the end of the day- the Oscars only can go to one. I don't know if I'll take journalism; my passion as a career or engineering; my life long dream as a career.  Maybe in life I won't take either for all I know, but we can't base our plans on maybes and ifs and one in a million cases. Just try and write our own destiny without trying to screw up and spice up our life's by taking risks and indulging into our passions every once in a while in sake of all sanity.

Ps- I know, I'm a month late- but hey- it's now or never. Happy new year to all my readers :) sorry for the late updates. The crazy schedule of a science student 🙈 

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas

It's was one of those evenings, where you just want to hot cuppa of coffee in one hand, and the other with a favourite book and just spending the evening, watching the sunset. Across the park was the row of shops with those cute chrismsy decorations. My mind was in a certain mood to observe my fellow bystanders, to be a wallflower if you must call it. I watched as people were frantically frolicking to these shops for forgotten or maybe last minute Christmas shopping for their loved and dear ones. Maybe a doll, a toy car, a piece of jewellery etc. After all, it is the season of giving gifts, in all it's jittery glory. As I felt the coldness of the winter the moment the sun kisses the horizon, almost as if it was giving us a chance to soak up it's last  rays for the day. Goosebumps arise on the skin of my arms and I tug my sweater a little closer, trying to preserve my body heat. By a fleeting moment, my eye catches the sight of a young boy, dressed in hoodie and cargo pants. His face is dirty, no, not in the physical sense, but as if he is annoyed, guilty almost, like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He wouldn't be more than 8 years but his eyes held a sense of maturity, which I was a little perturbed by. I don't know how or when but I found myself standing in front of the boy staring down on him as he fiddled with this fingers.

"Hi boy, what your name?" I asked. "The name is Dave, Madame." I was pleased with his civility and manners and decided to make small talk with this young man. "So what's a young boy like you doing here? Isn't  your family looking for you?" He just strugged his defeated shoulders and with a far away look in his eyes, stared as the sun finally set and the darkness of the night draped on the evening sky. "I have a family of 9 Madame. 4 sisters and 3 bothers along with daddy and mummy. They don't know I'm here." 

 

"What is it boy? You looked distant." I asked. 

"Madame I come from a middle class family, where my elder sisters and parents are working all the time to make ends meet. What troubles me is that they are so busy, I think they have forgotten that Christmas is day after tomorrow. Our family isn't much into celebrating, but we always buy a Christmas tree. But this year, it's looks like everyone forgot about it. This makes me sad, cause I've being asking Santa to give my family and I a big Christmas celebration but I don't think he has been getting my letters." He said with a sigh. 

I was astounded to hear this. Celebrating  Christmas has always been one of foundest  memories of childhood. 

Offering him my hand, I said "Come on! Let's remind your family the joy of Christmas?" The boy with an enigmatic smile just simply smiled and helded my hand and dragged me behind an oak tree where I saw shabbily cut Christmas tree branches decorated with a bunch of shiny streamers. He looked at me and said "My hands are too small to carry them all. Can you help me carry this to my cycle?"  he asked with his big puppy dog eyes. 

My heart elated with love and adoration for the little boy as I helped him carry it to his cycle parked about 2 blocks away. "Thank you Madame, I hope you have the most wonderful Christmas and a new year. I hope Santa gets your letter and your stocking is filled with all your gifts." I just gave the boy a warm smile and just when I was going to depart, the little boy turned around and said "Oh and Madame? If you ever meet Santa? Can you tell him it's okay?" Perplexed with his request I gave him a questioning look to which he gave a gleeful laugh and said "Tell Santa that it's okay if he misplaced my letter. I'm not disppointed with him, I understand he has millions of other kids who aren't as lucky as me to give gifts to.   Tell him it's okay. It's okay Santa, I still love you." With a last smile and twinkle in this eyes, he rode away into the darkness. 

This, THIS is the meaning of Christmas. THIS is why I love this time of the year. ❤️

PS- Merry Christmas and happy new year to all you wonderful people out there ❤️ 😊