17 years, 17 little observations.

Here's to my 17 years of my life in 17 personal life pointers.

1. Don't grow up, it's a trap. We all just wait to grow up just to experience more conflicts nobody prepared us for. 

2. Nobody wants sympathy. We all just want empathy. 

3. Little things in life do matter. 

4. All the bad things is life are prettier, more attractive, more alluring and definitely more cheaper than the good things is life. That's what makes it so hard. 

5. Everyone just wants money, nobody actually wants a job. 

6. School days are the best days in ones life. 

7. People come and go, but family stays, irrelevant of whether you might like it or not. 

8. When people are irritated , they make it a point to pass on their irritation to everyone around. Maybe that's why anti-socials are in a way smart to stay away from people. 

9. When life hands you lemons- you spend the rest of your life wondering what to do with it. Make lemonade or just  keep it as a showpiece till it rots. The choice is yours. 

10. The 80's kids might have had a hard life with no actually luxury of technology or urbanisation, but they definitely had a better life than this generations. Without technology or communication, you really don't give a damn about what your next door neighbour is doing. And that's something I'd kill for. 

11. Money doesn't buy happiness but I rather be crying and drinking my sorrows in a mansion than a hut. Just saying. 

12. Boys or men definitely gossip just as much as us women. If not more.

13. Reality checks are the worst kind of checks in life. 

14. The older you grow; you're given your lawful rights to liberation. But somehow, you feel even more caged.  

15. Men's mightiest downfall in life is their ego, and women's their incapability to mind their own business. 

16. The worlds a  big masked ball, everyone is wearing a pretty mask to hide their inner demons. 

17. Expectations mostly lead to disappointments. Best advice- just wing it- unexpected things in life are the most memorable memories. 

....... (To be continued) 

PS- Happy Holi to all you beautiful people out there ❤️

Should we be proud?

India- a country with diverse topography and unmatched natural beauty from the tall snow pecked peak of Himalayas to the multicoloured grains of sand of Kanyakumari- we are blessed with it all.

So should be proud of our our country? So proud that we yell it from the mountain tops? Proud of our nationality, as Indians we should be ecstatic with the way our country runs, patting our government on their backs? 

Yet, we youngsters- the moment someone takes the name of the Indian government; we snicker and roll our eyes with the look that says it all? This-country-has-no-hope. Yes, the government is corrupted, I mean it's politics. If it's ain't dirty- it ain't politics. But yet, I am ashamed of the way things are running in the this country. From our own capital so lovingly nicknamed- 'the rape capital'. I mean just imagine, your country's own capital; shine and pride is the most unsafe place for girls, and for I am one doesn't really create a good image for my future safety. From the sexual assaults to the thousands of pending molesting and rape casing on the our every own chosen delegates, this country has seen it all. To top it off; the outstanding behaviour of our Raj Sabha regarding the long awaited Telangana and Andhra issue. Ripping papers, tearing documents and flipping it in the air in anger like some Bollywood movie, stripping down to their boxer holding slogans for their beliefs, snatching and hitting each other and blatantly disrupting the sitting of the house in front of our Prime Minister and the other respectable members of the house. Isn't that just lovely? I mean our kids are sure to get some anger management issues classes from our prime and shine? 

Not to mention even our own very NRI's sitting in other countries, look down upon their own homeland- singing praises of the respective countries they now reside in? I was watching the debate hour with Arnav Goswami during the Devyani humiliation case, when I was flabbergasted to hear the views of our very own flesh and blood deriding their homeland and judging us to over-reacting over a small matter? The nerve of such people! Are they aware of the national uproar of their fellow people? The humiliation we had to go through? Sitting in their "high chairs" judging us with like we're always the one to blame, Indians the fools? 

Not like our Indians are any less! Demanding states, fighting against each other like little children? Our very own Indo  Pakistan war with the naxalites. Don't even get me started on the elections. It's the blind leading the blind. The illiterate people's innocence is taken advantage off by our forever greedy and foolish politicians. 

All you hear in your house is our elders just blaming the government, shaking their heads in disappointed muttering that "Nothing can be done with this country." Yet, refusing to vote to some decent chaps to make this country's democracy just a little less hopeless, talk about double standards. 

When I see the mass gathering during Nirbhaya's case, the opening of the T-2, the general Lokpal Bill, our master blaster- Sachin Tendulkar, Ghandhiji, Mother Teresa, Jhamsedji Tata; our India is a homeland of all these great people which gives me the tiny hope that's left in my heart  and I cling to it with both arms that maybe, just maybe my generation can knock some sense into the administration of this country and show the world why India's the largest democracy in the world! Show them what we got. Cause if we ain't got hope; we ain't got nothing left to fight for. So my advise? Instead of warming the chair, go vote! Baby steps, right? It's a start. :) 

Passion over mind?

Passion. The most candid of human desires, the most over hyped of emotions according to me. Passion is what drives people out of their comfort zones- daring themselves to try and and get out their this zone. I've always been told do what you're passionate about, follow your dreams. But why is almost is it so hard to follow your passion? To follow what you want. After all 'the heart wants what it wants.' As teenagers- we are never out of options for careers options, but what we want? It's a totally different matter. Suppose you have always wanted to be one of those food critics you see on those TLC channels or those world travelers, I mean getting paid to eat and travel the world? What more could anybody ever want? But is it a safe option? I mean what would your mom or Dadi say if that next door Mrs Mehta asked them what their precious grandson or daughter is doing? Imagine the horror! No degree, no doctoral or engineering certificate adorning the house walls. Or dreaming of being an Acapella singer or a ventriloquist? Or starting a band and strumming it around with your homeboys. Even asking your parents or subtly suggesting these options as an occupations can lead to a dreaded silence hangs in the house for almost a month, the tensions always palpable, to last a lifetime.

There are always people who have attained success in their lives because of their passions, but as teens- you can't help but feel as if these are one is gazillion cases where destiny and luck matters. And god forbid you base your arguments of such examples in your never ending debates of self conflict. You're bound to feel like just screaming on top of your lungs till the words dry out.'Why is being a teenager so hard?"We're too young to do half the things in our life's but old enough to make decisions which we have to stick to for the rest of our life.

The moment us teens even utter the words- life is so stressful. The sardonic laughs of the adults will resonate in your ears. "You? Seriously what pressure do you guys even have apart from studying?" Ah well, what I would like to say to such adults is- maybe in your times- you people had a less luxurious life and I know you've all worked hard to get where you are, but that doesn't mean  us teenagers or "kids" don't know what pressure is. Times have change drastically. Try being a teenager trying to find your limelight against the billions of other kids, who are just as clever and talented or maybe more than you can ever be. With the completion rising higher the the Burj Khalifa , keeping your head above  water gets harder every goddamn passing moment and with the added task of not succumbing to drugs or other things and in some unfortunate cases of being bullied, if that's not hard or too pressuring at our tender age, I don't know what is! 

Going behind passion is like choosing between Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio, both extremely tempting to chose but at the end of the day- the Oscars only can go to one. I don't know if I'll take journalism; my passion as a career or engineering; my life long dream as a career.  Maybe in life I won't take either for all I know, but we can't base our plans on maybes and ifs and one in a million cases. Just try and write our own destiny without trying to screw up and spice up our life's by taking risks and indulging into our passions every once in a while in sake of all sanity.

Ps- I know, I'm a month late- but hey- it's now or never. Happy new year to all my readers :) sorry for the late updates. The crazy schedule of a science student 🙈 

It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas

It's was one of those evenings, where you just want to hot cuppa of coffee in one hand, and the other with a favourite book and just spending the evening, watching the sunset. Across the park was the row of shops with those cute chrismsy decorations. My mind was in a certain mood to observe my fellow bystanders, to be a wallflower if you must call it. I watched as people were frantically frolicking to these shops for forgotten or maybe last minute Christmas shopping for their loved and dear ones. Maybe a doll, a toy car, a piece of jewellery etc. After all, it is the season of giving gifts, in all it's jittery glory. As I felt the coldness of the winter the moment the sun kisses the horizon, almost as if it was giving us a chance to soak up it's last  rays for the day. Goosebumps arise on the skin of my arms and I tug my sweater a little closer, trying to preserve my body heat. By a fleeting moment, my eye catches the sight of a young boy, dressed in hoodie and cargo pants. His face is dirty, no, not in the physical sense, but as if he is annoyed, guilty almost, like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. He wouldn't be more than 8 years but his eyes held a sense of maturity, which I was a little perturbed by. I don't know how or when but I found myself standing in front of the boy staring down on him as he fiddled with this fingers.

"Hi boy, what your name?" I asked. "The name is Dave, Madame." I was pleased with his civility and manners and decided to make small talk with this young man. "So what's a young boy like you doing here? Isn't  your family looking for you?" He just strugged his defeated shoulders and with a far away look in his eyes, stared as the sun finally set and the darkness of the night draped on the evening sky. "I have a family of 9 Madame. 4 sisters and 3 bothers along with daddy and mummy. They don't know I'm here." 

 

"What is it boy? You looked distant." I asked. 

"Madame I come from a middle class family, where my elder sisters and parents are working all the time to make ends meet. What troubles me is that they are so busy, I think they have forgotten that Christmas is day after tomorrow. Our family isn't much into celebrating, but we always buy a Christmas tree. But this year, it's looks like everyone forgot about it. This makes me sad, cause I've being asking Santa to give my family and I a big Christmas celebration but I don't think he has been getting my letters." He said with a sigh. 

I was astounded to hear this. Celebrating  Christmas has always been one of foundest  memories of childhood. 

Offering him my hand, I said "Come on! Let's remind your family the joy of Christmas?" The boy with an enigmatic smile just simply smiled and helded my hand and dragged me behind an oak tree where I saw shabbily cut Christmas tree branches decorated with a bunch of shiny streamers. He looked at me and said "My hands are too small to carry them all. Can you help me carry this to my cycle?"  he asked with his big puppy dog eyes. 

My heart elated with love and adoration for the little boy as I helped him carry it to his cycle parked about 2 blocks away. "Thank you Madame, I hope you have the most wonderful Christmas and a new year. I hope Santa gets your letter and your stocking is filled with all your gifts." I just gave the boy a warm smile and just when I was going to depart, the little boy turned around and said "Oh and Madame? If you ever meet Santa? Can you tell him it's okay?" Perplexed with his request I gave him a questioning look to which he gave a gleeful laugh and said "Tell Santa that it's okay if he misplaced my letter. I'm not disppointed with him, I understand he has millions of other kids who aren't as lucky as me to give gifts to.   Tell him it's okay. It's okay Santa, I still love you." With a last smile and twinkle in this eyes, he rode away into the darkness. 

This, THIS is the meaning of Christmas. THIS is why I love this time of the year. ❤️

PS- Merry Christmas and happy new year to all you wonderful people out there ❤️ 😊

Stranger Danger?

As I stood waiting out on a hot humid day, hooting and whistling for a taxi to take me home, I realized my hopes were futile. Nobody was ready to take me home which was practically 3 kilometers away. The drivers too knew I was a local mumbaiker and was not the one to pay extra easily so chances of cheating were slim to none for them. Yes, I could have walked home if I wanted, but it very hot, humid with the afternoon soon beating on my back, sucking my energy out. I was just fired from my job and you could say I woke up on the wrong side of my bed. I wasn't exactly excited to go home and spread the news to my parents. Cussing at the taxi drivers I walked into a nearby meela (fair) to buy myself a goola (ice lolly). After paying for it I sat and watched as a silent bystander to observe my fellow humans. Seeing kids with their boyish grins while they ride the merry-go-round. Girls getting mehandi (tattoos) on their chubby fingers. Mothers frantically running around to control their sugar-rush high kids. In all, a typical meela. Right then, a man came and occupied the seat next to me. So I took the opportunity to scrutinized this man. He seemed to be in his mid-fifties. A perfectly kept French cut beard with almost balding hairline, a pretty fit body with hazel coloured eyes, and was a dusky complextion. He looked like a man who was a heart breaker in his golden years. When suddenly he locked eyes with me. Embarrassed I looked away, when he just smiled and said "Good afternoon!" I tried to force a smile and greet him back but my body tired from the days events, I failed miserably. He noticed and just gave a warm smile, which made me guard myself. Then he just said "Smile little girl, the world is too full on frowns. It seems as if you have a really nice smile." Hearing this I was baffled and almost was going to pick up my purse and flee from there but his eyes held me back. There was a hidden sadness in them. As if he knew I was on the run, he shrugged his shoulder looks at me and said "I wasn't being creepy. I just wanted to see a real full-blown smile. I haven't seen one in a long long time and my heart aches that people don't smile that often. It's a rare sight now days and for some reason I have a feeling you have a real pretty smile."

Creeper or not, it was nice to hear a compliment, so I just though 'Oh what the hell' and just gave him a small smile and stood up to walk away, when he surprised me with muttering a "Thanks." and walked away. 

I finally finished my goola and caught a taxi and went home. My phone was blaring up with calls from my friends, parents, all probably trying to talk to me to cheer me up. But when I was brushing my teeth, I noticed that the man was right. I did have a nice smile. Not to sound narcissistic, but I do and for some reason that lifted my mood and for the rest of the day, I had a small smile on my face. 

Such strange meetings, with strange people at unexpected moments just somehow manage to play an important role in your life, a small, but nevertheless important. This stranger made me proud of my smile and remind me, that fall in love with yourself first. If you don't love yourself, how you do expect others too? 

PS - sorry for the late and irregular blogging. I'm have a masters degree at procrastination. 

Little Things in Life.

Topic of Discussion: Little things in life.
At this supersonic fast paced life that we live in, it's hard to slow down for a moment and just look at the clouds or just even take a deep breathe to just let go of all you worries, just for a moment. I mean its really not any one's fault. Its a dog eat dog world and time is money. So can you really expect people to let lose, even if its for a moment? I think you can, because if you don't; the internal pressure just keeps building and you're bound to crack and destroy everything in your path at that point of time. Maybe you don't have the luxury to take a few days off just to relax and let go, like some people do. But that doesn't mean you can't let your hair down. Learn to enjoy the little things in life. Trust me, its these tiny unseen pleasures that make all the difference in your world.
When it seems as if the world has yet again taken you for a ride, only to be kick-out just before the finish line. Its heartbreaking. You are still finding a firm ground to stand on, is when you realize the importance of these little things like; reading a good book, watching kids run around in the playground, listening to your favorite album, or even just binge eating on fatty foods. They all might seem pretty lame things to feel so happy about and that's okay.

Just the other day, taking an off from my studies, I picked up this book called: The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. Its about a girl suffering from cancer  and you get a glimpse to how such kids see the world when they know their deadline. Its pretty darn good. While we live in fear of the unknown, that is when we are gonna die; while these kids know their expiry date and actually live life to the fullest. Like we all should be living. All because these kids don't waste their time crying about the things they don't have or what could be, they take things as they journey through their limited lifetime. Its sad really, we as perfect normal healthy people need to learn the art of living life like it should be lived from a dying kid. Its all a matter of perspective, mind over matter. One of my favorite quotes is by the protagonist's love interest-Augustus Waters: "I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend." 

So you've had a crappy day? The worst day of your life when you feel like you've hit rock bottom and it seems like there's nothing you can do? Just take a breathe and look around, remember a time when you were happy, try to relive it. Look around at the clouds passing over your head, look at the beauty all around. Beauty is what you find pleasing and its a contextual term. I may think beauty is seeing a dog wag its tail when you pet it, or seeing your favorite film all over again remembering all the lines. Beauty and happiness go hand in hand. So my readers, I implore you to let lose once in a while and enjoy the little things in life. 

PS- Read The Fault In our Stars, I'm sure you will not be disappointed. It's a fresh and simple with a coat of humor. :) 

Who is thy fairest of them all?

Today's topic of discussion: The concept of 'gora' and 'kala'. I'm an Indian girl with dusky complexion and not to mention, a south Indian. In Indian society, the prejudice against a 'gora' or fair is considered to one of the top priorities or a tie breaker in some cases of matrimonial relationships.Yes, I'm NOT kidding. When men and women are looking for life partners, their basic need is to have a husband/wife of a fairer complexion. Fairness is equivalent to beauty, richness, superiority of a person. India spends almost 3000 corers of rupees on fairness creams and products; fair and lovely, Garnier, Vaseline, etc are minting corers money due to this prejudice. While they mint money, the native people are losing their self pride and self esteem, taking drastic measures to become "gora".
When my family and I meet people for the first time, after they scrutinize our appearances, they give us the benefit of doubt, and ask us again if we are sure that we are from South India! They seem flabbergasted at the mere idea that people from the south can be fair. My maternal side is very fair or "gora". So my sister has gone on my mother, making them both 'goras' while my dad and I are on a darker complexion or "kala". People ask us if my mother and sister use some special treatment to maintain such fairness and is so, to share their secrets with them. You can literally smell the air of desperateness that reeks out of them. Though I don't blame them. This society that we live in leads us to take such demeaning and pitiful measures. I have friends who rate people in terms of beauty with them being "gora" or not.
Even as kids, we've grown up seeing Disney princesses like Cinderella, Snow White etc who all are really fair. I mean Snow White's plot revolves around her being the "fairest of them all", in this very childhood fairytale fairness is being compared to beauty. As kids, we're told not to play outside in the sun too much as would get tanned and then nobody would want to make us their brides. I'm not exaggerating, I've been told this by my grandparents and elders.
Don't even get me started on these ridiculous advertisements where a darker skinned girl is denied a job or a higher position due to her skin tone, and suddenly she applies the product which turns her fair in a fortnight and she gets the job which she was previously denied. The mentality of the writer of such ad is too foolish to even comment on. How is ones capability related to one's skin tone? Even men are falling prey to such harsh norms of the stupidity of the society we live in. Now days men fairness creams are in fashion.
  Even though one of Shakespeare's most beautiful sonnets is dedicated to a dark-skinned women, in most of his plays, he refers to his female protagonists as fair and beautiful. In the dictionary of us Indians, beauty is a synonymy for fair.
Though I'm extremely delighted to hear that some campaigns here have started, specially "Dark is beautiful".
Its is after hearing about such campaigns', do I feel that make there is after all some hope in this society. That the girls of this generation can feel secure that there are people out their hiding and their silent cries of this discrimination or even racism based on this absurdness of skin colour. Someone is raising their voice, fighting for them, giving it all they have to change this ugly society and make it a better place for the future.